|Hitler's EU gauleiters will force you to do this. Yes they will|
“While you are reluctantly pulping cute little mice, sadistic Canadian fishermen will be swiping larger animals’ heads clean off with nail-encrusted baseball bats,” it went on.
Twirling his evil moustache and jibber-jabbering away nineteen to the dozen in some foreign lingo, an evil Eurocrat of the Fourth Reich told the doughty British people, through a Mail interpreter: “Oui, señor, I am – ‘ow you say - a sausage-eating greasy spick wop froggie dago Nazi, and I live only to dream up new ways to enrage you, you motherless pig-dog heretic Englanders.”
Meanwhile, thousands of abattoir workers were left wondering why their spoilsport bosses have, for many years, interpreted the actual phrase used - “a percussive blow to the head” - to mean a machine which fires bolts into the brains of livestock, cruelly denying them the traditional countryside pleasure of beating a cow to death with a scaffolding pole.