Hard on the heels of the announcement that the people of Wootton Bassett, through their diligent acts of standing around as 345 military hearses drove past, are to have their town granted ‘Royal’ status, the blitzed city of Plymouth has written to the Queen to ask if it could be given a grandiose title as well.
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| Does this count for anything? |
“During the Second World War we stood and watched respectfully as 1,172 of our own dead were laid to rest in mass graves in Efford Cemetery,” said an aggrieved Plymouth. “And - unlike the troops who have died in Afghanistan and Iraq - none of our civilians cheerfully volunteered to sign up and get paid to stand in the line of fire. What's more - unlike picture-postcard Wootton Bassett - we and future generations also have to live with the monstrous aberrations of architecture that were foisted upon us afterwards to replace the shattered Victorian elegance of our blitz-blighted city. Can we have a meaningless addition to our name too, please? ‘Imperial Plymouth’ has a nice ring to it.”
London’s East End, Coventry and dozens of other blitzed cities which didn’t ask to be put in the front line of a war are also believed to have lodged formal requests with Buckingham Palace for pointless additions to their names.
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