Freed Iraq hostage Peter Moore has said he is "delighted" to be free after 946 days in captivity, explaining how he is keenly "looking forward to spending the coming days and weeks catching up on all the things I've missed over the past two-and-a-half years."
Foreign Office staff are carefully debriefing the 36-year-old computer expert, in order to ease the difficult transition from powerless captive in a chaotic, lawless state to free citizen of the United Kingdom.
"We started off by trying to explain the point of Twitter to Mr Moore," said Cadogan de Vere Carlton-Browne of the F.O. "But we quickly realised the enormity of the task, so we've gone back to things which are a bit easier to take in - like the replacement of one buggy, bloated version of Windows by another. He finds that comfortingly familiar."
Trauma specialists say that the eventual aim of Mr Moore's carefully-planned debriefing is to bring him to a point where he will be psychologically ready to hear that, shortly after his capture in May 2006, Gordon Brown was handed the premiership of the United Kingdom on a plate and went on to preside over the unprecedented bankrupting of a nation which was comfortably riding the crest of an economic wave when he was kidnapped.
"Mr Moore may already be experiencing the 'Stockholm Syndrome', which describes the tendency of hostages to identify with their captors over time," said a senior government head-fixer. "Our fear is that, when he realises the mess the country is now in, he may well leap onto the next plane to Baghdad and beg for asylum."
2 comments:
Can't help but notice a feint hint of cynicism about the place.
Perhaps I could send you a copy of my favourite Tellytubbies compilation?
Me, cynical? I'm deeply hurt. If I was truly cynical, I'd have joined one of the major political parties.
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