Saturday 9 January 2010

Selfish Salt Thieves Prompt Councils To Retaliate In Kind

Irresponsible motorists have been raiding council stockpiles of salt, often emptying local storage bins minutes after they have been refilled, according to reports from several council depots around the snowbound country.

"Happen these irresponsible folk are literally putting lives at risk," commented Councillor Al Cock, as North Yorkshire County Council took the precaution of transferring 400 tonnes from a remote, little-known rural depot to a more secure location in Skipton which shouldn't be too difficult to find.

Meanwhile, hundreds of householders in the region have reported hearing strange sounds in their homes in the middle of the night, and coming downstairs to find dayglo-jacketed council workmen rifling through kitchen cupboards and escaping through the window with their salt shakers.

"Happen tha's got to fight fire with fire," responded Cllr Cock defiantly, when the allegations were put to him.

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