We may have to revise our preconceived opinions of the Neanderthal branch of humanity, say archaeologists who have discovered evidence that our Stone Age rivals used make-up to adorn themselves.
The team discovered shells marked with pigment residues at two sites in southern Spain, which they claim form compelling evidence that modern humans were not the only hominid species capable of vanity.
"Our findings conclusively demolish the old myths about hairy, halfwitted ape-men and women," insisted Professor Joao Zilhao of Bristol University. "We can now picture a touchingly-familiar Neanderthal domestic scene, with the male of the cavehold exasperatedly calling for his mate to hurry up and get ready before the bison herd moves on, as she blithely carries on applying her eyeliner with a club."
The archaeological world is now considering the implications of the discovery regarding the extinction of the Neanderthal race.
"Could it be that these tribes died out because they ended up spending all their time applying primitive wax strips to remove their thick, matted body hair?" mused Professor Tony Robinson, Emeritus Chair of Anthropology at More4 University. "Or were they all stung to death by angry bees? Find out after the break!"
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