The world's tallest monument to man's hubris, the 2,716ft Burj Khalifi, was opened yesterday in Dubai - dwarfing the previous record holder, the ill-fated liner RMS Titanic, whose paltry 883ft hull could comfortably fit upright on top of its two sister ships inside the enormous, pointless edifice.
Towering above the tiny, bankrupt state of Dubai, the gigantic irrelevance will stand as a futile, half-empty monument to the horribly-misplaced financial confidence of mankind for generations to come.
"In future, our nomadic grandchildren will be drawn to our deserted city from up to sixty miles away, attracted by its glinting glass cladding. They will shake their heads sadly, as they ask themselves what sort of irresponsible clowns could have spent $1.5bn they didn't have on such a colossal vanity project," boasted Dubai's ruler, Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rash Al-Along. "They will scale its empty lift shafts, and peer out in amazement over the scrub-covered ruins of extravagantly silly artificial islands that look like a map of the world, a stylised palm tree and a huge dollar sign."
"I can only hope, in all humility, that they will also pause to beg Allah to forgive us, at the world's highest unfurnished mosque on the 158th floor," he added.
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