All of the big exhibitors at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas today threatened to unleash evil 3D televisions on the public, if sales of their defective, unnecessary products failed to pick up sharpish.
"You might have thought that the awful sight of Jedward's smug, vacuous faces filling the wall of your front room was bad enough," warned a horrible, horrible bastard from Sony. "But I promise you now that Simon Cowell's next abomination will be inches from your big fat face unless you fuck off to Curry's right now and slap a broadband-enabled e-book Reader, a BluRay-compatible phone and a blog-ready camera on your groaning credit card."
"Well, what are you waiting for?" he snapped.
"Our exciting new GT240 Social Android phone will be in the shops in April," threatened an insufferable prick from LG. "Anybody who hasn't pre-ordered one by next Friday will come downstairs one morning to find their living space filled by Jeremy Kyle's enormous floating head. And don't think for a minute that we wouldn't dare."
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