A deservedly-obscure backbench Labour MP has committed the unspeakable thought-crime of wantonly wondering why Britain is full of dyslexics when other countries aren't, the nasty little shit.
The heartless, depraved Graham 'Goebbels' Stringer pitilessly suggested that 10% of Britons might not be labelled as dyslexic if teachers agreed on one teaching technique and stuck to it, rather than 'confusing' their students with a barrage of different systems.
"If dyslexia really existed," ranted the clearly-deranged renegade, "Then countries as diverse as Nicaragua and South Korea would not have been able to achieve literacy rates of nearly 100%."
"Of course dyslexia is real," said an angry Shirley Cramer, chief executive of Dyslexia Action. "My job - and the jobs of thousands of other saintly experts - wouldn't exist if it wasn't."
"This brutal monster must be stopped," she pleaded, "Before he starts bundling your defenceless, disabled kiddies into the back of a van and slaughtering them all with Zyklon-B."
Every right-minded person in Britain was today clamouring for the renegade bastard MP for Blackley to be impaled on a spike - the richly-deserved fate of the producers of a malicious Channel 4 documentary some years ago, which insulted everyone by making the ridiculous, spiteful claim that dyslexia might be nothing more than a socially-acceptable label applied to nice middle-class children, rather than the 'learning difficulties' experienced by the illegitimate thicky underclass progeny of drug-addicted prostitutes on council estates.
Heretic education chiefs in Dumbartonshire, who ruthlessly eradicated dyslexia in their schools - recklessly discarding the tried-and-tested method of bombarding pupils with whatever systems individual teachers happened to like, dogmatically inflicting the unbelievable nonsense of so-called 'synthetic phonics' instead - were rightly dragged from their offices by a baying mob of concerned, caring citizens, tarred and feathered, then strung up from lamp-posts.
Thousands of incensed teachers have taken to the streets in protest against the criminal sociopath Stringer's vicious slurs, waving placards and banners reading: "fUkE Of fACiST!!!", "tEEChERZ no hOWe tOO tEECh", "hAY StiNGeR??? LEEV tHoes kiDDS ALOwN!!!!!!!!" and "StRiGNEr iS A CNUt".
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