In the latest twist in the racism scandal engulfing the House of Windsor, the Nev Filter has obtained shocking evidence of the Queen purchasing negro slaves at a clandestine auction, held on a secret sugar plantation in the grounds of her Sandringham estate. The plantation has been cleverly hidden from prying eyes, masquerading as an ornamental walled garden.
In the exclusive footage, Her Majesty can clearly be seen examining the teeth of several naked, chained Africans. At one point, she is clearly heard telling a leering Princess Anne that she is looking for "strong darky stock for [her] stud farm".
The controversial clip also shows Prince Philip heartlessly horsewhipping a cowering slave for not lowering his eyes in the presence of the Queen and shouting, "How dare you feast your lustful kaffir eyes on the white mistress? Damn your hide, boy, I'll thrash some bloody manners into your dark Sambo soul."
The noble African savages are believed to have been caught in a big net by Princes William and Harry while they were ostensibly in Africa doing charity work, and posted to the UK in diplomatic bags.
The exclusive material comes hard on the heels of the revelations that Prince Harry called a fellow army officer a 'Paki', while his father refers to a polo team-mate as 'Sooty'.
Veteran royal apologists were at a loss to find excuses for the latest monarchic outrage.
"Even I find it hard to dismiss flaying the skin off a slave's back as matey banter between old friends," said an ashen-faced Nicholas Witchell.
Others were more forthcoming with their opinions, however.
"This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Britain's so-called royalty are nothing more than a goose-stepping, murderous Nazi death squad," said Mohammed Fayed. "No wonder my almost-daughter-in-law Princess Diana fled screaming from their evil clutches, and look what they did to her."
"I'd like my passport now, please," he added.
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