Two-Thirds Of Foreigners Blame It All On The British, Says Poll

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A staggering two-thirds of the world’s foreigners blame the native white population of the UK for the state of things today, according to a disturbing poll published today.

“Those white bastards breed like flies, then they have the cheek to automatically expect preferential treatment,” complained Dr. Amina Toumert, a paediatric surgeon in Morocco. “They sit on their backsides claiming every benefit going, and they shout loudly that they and all their ignorant kids have a God-given right to well-paid jobs for life. Their odious beliefs about their unlamented empire and about Islam prove beyond a shadow of doubt that they have no intention of integrating themselves into civilised global society.”

Pritam Deshpande, a Delhi-based accountant, was at pains to point out that some of his best friends were white Britons.

“Of course they’re pleasant enough fellows - but they’re the exceptions that prove the rule,” he explained earnestly. “Wherever the British go, from Afghanistan to Ayia Napa, they leave chaos and destruction in their wake. Who really knows what goes on in their warped, hate-filled white minds? Their marriages are brutal and loveless, their children are indoctrinated from birth with a backward belief in their own superiority, and they won’t be happy until the whole world adopts their primitive customs and beliefs. I tell you, the world wouldn’t be in the mess it’s in today if they weren’t always jabbering and wailing a load of twaddle about the heavenly delights of an unregulated financial sector in a language nobody understands.”

“I would cheerfully vote for any extremist party that promises to expel all those troublesome British whites from our beautiful planet,” said Jun Qiu, a Shanghai-based IT consultant. “As long as they don’t apply too much violence when they’re stuffing them into the rockets. I am not cruel.”