|Ashley Cole receives his orders for the ethnic cleansing of Belgravia|
“How much longer must the white race cower in fear behind our curtains while Ashley Cole rampages through suburbia with impunity, black as a coalman and potting away at his betters with a tommy gun?” begged editor Paul Dacre.
“Chelsea used to be a decent area,” stammered fearful local resident Harold Jonathan Esmond Vere Harmsworth, 4th Viscount Rothermere, who only spoke to the Mail under conditions of strict anonymity. “Then these swarthy foreign devils swarmed into the borough, lured by the ill-gotten coin of their swaggering kingpin, Roman Abramovich – a Christ-murdering Jew, by the sound of it, or I’m a Chinaman – and holding their unspeakable cabbalistic voodoo ceremonies right on the doorstep of our dearly departed Imperial forefathers resting in Brompton Cemetery.”
|The gangsters brazenly flaunt their hideout, yet the police do nothing|
“Those were his exact words,” he added vehemently.
Richard Littlejohn, the Mail’s foremost wordsmith, threw down a gauntlet to Britain’s loony-left chief constables – and in particular the notoriously gun-shy, homosexualist-loving Commissioner Sir Kim Jong-Stephenson of the Metropolitan force – calling for an immediate artillery barrage upon all those gangsters of the coloured persuasion who now defile the nation’s most sacred football grounds, the grandstands echoing with unintelligible heathen chanting as they gleefully force true-blue labouring-class captives like plucky little Wayne Rooney to dance for his life amid a hail of bullets.
Meanwhile, in an accompanying op-ed article, charming gentleman columnist Peter Hitchens bravely taxed many delicate lady readers’ sensitivities with the unwelcome but necessary revelation that many of Mr Abramovich’s nig-nog hordes were “this long.”