Ed Miliband’s Inspired Leadership Speech In Full:

“Here I come, walkin' down the street. I get the funniest looks from every one I meet. Hey, hey, I’m a newbie, and people say I monkey around. But I’m too busy singing to put anybody down. I go wherever I want to, do what I like to do. I don't have time to get restless, there's always something new.

“Hey, hey, I’m a newbie, and people say I monkey around. But I’m too busy singing
to put anybody down. I’m just trying to be friendly. Come and watch me sing and play. I’m the young generation, and I’ve got something to say.

“Any time or anywhere, just look over your shoulder - guess who'll be standing there?

“Hey, hey, we're the newbies, and people say we monkey around. But we're too busy singing to put anybody down. We're just tryin' to be friendly. Come and watch us sing and play. We're the young generation, and we've got something to say.

“Hey, hey, we're the newbies. You never know where we'll be found. So you'd better get ready. We may be coming to your town*.”

Screaming applause, fainting girls, mandatory three-hour standing ovation etc.

* subject to industrial action by the RMT

(with apologies to Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart)