Jaguar Unveils Turbine Car For The Aspiring Replicant Hunter Of 2020

Opinion is divided on whether it really is a car, or just believes it's a car

The star of the Paris Motor Show is undoubtedly Jaguar’s revolutionary X-C75 concept car, which the company says will go on the market in 2020, aimed at affluent replicant-killers who have not yet availed themselves of the chance to begin again with a new life in the off-world colonies.

The futuristic low-slung machine will be powered by a gas turbine engine, not only driving an electric motor in each wheel but also allowing vertical take-off and landing - which proud Jaguar press officers say will prove invaluable for avoiding the frequent hold-ups caused by bio-engineered pet camels, Chinese pedestrians huddling from the acid rain under neon umbrellas and freshly-executed half-naked replicants lying rigidly in the road.

Leading motoring journalists and Jeremy Clarkson drooled enviously over the windshield at the exotic Jaguar’s lavish complement of desirable accessories - such as a 3D satnav, wi-fi police intranet access with built-in webcam, the complete Vangelis oeuvre pre-installed in the inbuilt MP3 player and a handy in-dash socket for a matching LED-encrusted handgun.

The dry-ice extravaganza of the press launch was slightly marred by the lowering of the X-C75 prototype from a crane, however, as the innovative propulsion system currently only exists in the head of a marketing executive.

Nevertheless, Jaguar’s designers claim that several police forces have already expressed an interest in the revolutionary vehicle, and promised to work on the addition of downward-pointing riot gas despensers and a dashboard mounting for a Voight-Kampff device.