The Nobel Prize for the Debasement of Science has been awarded to the horrible, horrible pricks who made it possible for each and every self-obsessed dullard on the planet to clutter up the internet with thousands of deeply uninteresting photographs of themselves and their like-minded friends doing the yawn-inducingly tedious things that all easily-amused piss artists feel compelled to do whenever one of their number pulls out a camera phone, the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences announced today.
"Before the invention of the Charge-Coupled Device, the only way to capture these mind-numbing moments of inanity was to take along a camera, loaded with film which cost money to buy and even more money to develop," said the Nobel committee. "This tended to inhibit their photography - partly because the film usually ran out before things got really pointless, and secondly because when the prints came back the owner of the camera had sobered up enough to realise that they'd thrown away another tenner.
"Thanks to the tireless research of Willard Boyle and George Smith, however, every pissed-up retard can now snap away with their CCD-equipped mobiles to their heart's content, and instantly post the gut-wrenchingly unfunny results to their Facebook profile without stopping for a moment to ask themselves why in God's name anybody in their right mind could possibly want to cast their eye over yet another herd of slack-jawed inebriates. We want the whole world to know the names of Boyle and Smith, and we urge anyone with a brain to crap in an envelope and post it to them without delay."
The prize was jointly awarded to Charles Kao, without whose work on fibre-optic cables the internet would be so slow that it would almost certainly be restricted solely to stuff that somebody might actually find at least slightly interesting.
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