The Los Angeles Police Department has issued an extradition order for Mackson Wackson's self-proclaimed best friend in the whole world ever, the mystic cutlery-mangler Uri Geller.
Geller, who met Wackson once as he was passing through the VIP lounge of Heathrow Airport during a lull in his career when he was - briefly - employed as a washer-upper in the kitchen, spent much of Thursday night on the telephone to every TV and radio station in the world telling them what a shock it was to him that his young bestest-ever friend ever had died so suddenly and without warning.
"Smart work, Geller, but not smart enough," hard-bitten LA detective Harry Dyrrtei smiled as he arrived at New Scotland Yard to co-ordinate the hunt for the psychic with his British sidekick, DCI Gene Hunt. "You may think you've established a cast-iron alibi for yourself, letting the whole world know you were at home in Englandland as Wackson lay dying. But we got a file on you, see, and we think you knew exactly what was going to happen, way before it did. The paramedics report that the stiff was contorting his body into weird, unnatural shapes as his heart ceased - and that's your MO, pal."
Geller's current whereabouts are unknown. However, police sources say they are following an ectoplasmic trail leading to the astral plane, and plan to put Lieutenant Dyrrtei into a near-death coma in the hope that his incorporeal spirit will encounter the fugitive spoon-fondler as it voyages back to the seventies.
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