Millions of fans who bought tickets to see Mackson Wackson's comeback performances at London's O2 Dome will not be disappointed, say promoters.
"We are as deeply saddened by Mackson's death as his legions of cloth-eared fans," they said in a press release. "However, we have been told that, after his funeral - for which tickets will be going on sale on our website at 6pm tonight, don't miss the dance 'n' horror extravaganza of a lifetime - his body will be exhumed and carried to a leading Hollywood special effects designer, who even now is working on an animatronic framework which can be folded up for insertion into Wackson's rectum, then deployed to operate his limbs either directly by radio control or according to pre-programmed instructions."
"Don't worry, folks," concluded the promoters, "Mackson Wackson's mechanically-animated plastic remains will continue to wow the crowds for centuries to come."
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