Crowds Gather To Watch Stately Water-Bound Procession On A20

The British do this sort of thing better than anyone else

A throng of easily-impressed sightseers has assembled between Folkestone and Dover, eager to catch an unforgettable glimpse of the largest assembly of sea-going transport in 350 years - which is drifting majestically at a stately 3mph down the A20, hoping to escape the UK’s dismal Jubilee bank holiday forecast of non-stop pouring drivel.

“Look at this, Emma!” City worker Rob Blind impressed upon his sleepy four-month old daughter, from a vantage point on the Cauldham Lane bridge overlooking the slow-moving procession. “You’ll never see a sight like this again for as long as you live – ordinary people who can afford a holiday!”

The most impressive barge of the day undoubtedly belonged to Mr Wayne Prunt, who delighted the cheering crowds and his latest girlfriend by gunning his antique BMW 318 and sailing through a layby south of Church Wood at 60mph. As he floated serenely past with a tuneful blast on his airhorn, a dozen finger-waving participants saw red, bared their white teeth and turned the air blue.

“This is a profoundly moving sight,” commented a delighted spokesman for the Dover Harbour Board as, one by one, participating vehicles flowed at an almost imperceptible pace onto a waiting ferry. “But only just.”