Medics Nod Knowingly At Duke’s Awkward ‘Bladder’ Problem

Doctors at the London’s leading King Edward Potato Hospital today tapped their noses and acknowledged that the Duke of Edinburgh’s wrinkled genitals will be painted purple and kept under amused observation for the next couple of days, following his emergency admission yesterday for a sudden flaring-up of “the old bladder problem.”

Clap, everyone

Smiling nurses are greeting the nautical 90-year-old with a cheery ‘Hello sailor’ as they administer iodine and antibiotics to the royal privates, according to a grinning hospital spokesman who suggested that, next time Prince Philip thinks about putting on something for the weekend, at his age he really ought to take sensible precautions.

Meanwhile, rumours that the Queen has changed the locks at Buckingham Palace were, as is customary in such matters, neither confirmed nor denied.