|Easier on the eye than some lardy PCSO|
“This glorious national celebration has demonstrated to the world that the great British public really doesn’t give a rat’s arse about the unemployed,” crowed the business forum. “While they were proudly draping their tits and arses with their national flag, dolescum rounded up from the arse end of the country were shivering under London Bridge, prior to being frogmarched out to supply the illusion of security free, gratis and for nothing. What a stirring reminder to the world of the glory days when Great Britain used to dominate the lucrative slave trade.”
“Also, we’ve put 10,494 miles of bunting on eBay, starting at 99p - perfect if you’re planning a bit of a do,” it added. “Bit damp, but it’s got nine days to dry out - it’ll be good as new.”
Meanwhile, scowling killjoy Lord Prescott insulted the Queen and threatened the future prosperity of the nation by sulkily demanding some sort of wishy-washy, hand-wringing inquiry into why the slaves were left huddling under the bridge in the chill of the night - but not into why they were forced to work for nothing, because that was introduced by Labour.