Saturday, 5 November 2011

Daily Mail Demands Dangerous Frogs Act For Snarling Sarkozy

The Daily Mail today led calls for Nicolas Sarkozy, the vicious French prime minister, to be kept on a short leash at all times and forced to wear a muzzle – or better still, humanely destroyed – after a unprovoked attack from his savage jaws left poor, vulnerable Britain desperately fighting to save face.

Look at those ugly fangs
The latest incident, in which a snarling Sarkozy suddenly turned on hapless Newsnight economics editor Paul Mason, barking: “You come from an island, so maybe you don’t understand the subtleties of European construction,” follows a previous unprovoked attack on David Cameron, when the animal-loving British PM ill-advisedly tried to shake Sarkozy by the paw and promptly had his head bitten off.

“This frog is clearly dangerous and needs to be forcibly restrained,” thundered the Mail. “If Europe can’t keep its frogs under control, then maybe it is time for the law to step in and outlaw these ghastly creatures completely, or at least teach them to behave like poodles.”

Frog lovers, however, are appalled at the hard line being proposed by the Mail, however.

“The frog in question is constantly being goaded by the badly-behaved little Englander pig-dogs next door, who are constantly yapping and whining and snapping at his heels,” pointed out German frog-fancier Angela Merkel. “Perhaps it would be better if they took the opportunity to shut up for once.”

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