Monday, 31 October 2011

nPower Customers Celebrate £2m Ofgem Fine They’ll End Up Paying

Long-suffering customers of nPower say they are delighted with the £2m fine which will be added to their eye-watering bills, after industry regulator Ofgem fined the energy supplier for its blatant mistreatment of complaints.

These things don't fall out of cornflakes packets, you know
“Last year we only made a token £245m,” sobbed nPower’s chief commercial officer, Kevin Piles. “As a result, we were sadly forced to increase our profit margins from paltry £1.50 per customer to a very reasonable £9. This swingeing £2m fine completely wipes out that modest gain, probably, so I’m afraid we’ll just have to pass it straight on to our customers.”

“If anyone’s got a problem with that,” he added, “Please feel free to write to us and we’ll bung your complaints straight into a furnace at one of our coal-fired power stations. That’ll keep our costs down a bit.”

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