The forces of darkness took another brutal potshot at the long-suffering St Julian of Assange today, as Mr Justice Pentagon-Bilderberg cruelly refused to accept the acclaimed prophet of truth’s legal argument that his wandering penis is secretly being controlled by an unholy alliance consisting of President Obama, MI5, the Elders of Zion and a lizard-being from the eighth dimension.
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| The suffering of St Julian |
The bewigged corporate slave of the High Court slavishly refused St Julian’s claim that the Swedish fannies he poked were in fact operating under secret orders from the shadow world government to wrap themselves around his spotless leakiwick, and that as such he had been raped by the Establishment.
“Let he who is without sin cast 250,000 stones all over the internet,” commented the indomitable holy man afterwards. “But first, let the faithful strive to raise a stack of cash to overcome the Satanic intrigues of Visa and Mastercard, who are completely controlled by bad microwaves emanating from a Jewish flying saucer captured and operated by the US government.”
St Julian is now understood to be considering an appeal on a point of law, namely that since no law on the statute books specifically mentions him by name, therefore no law applies to him.
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