NATO Boasts That Fortified Tripoli Compound Won’t Be Flying Any Time Soon

This must not be allowed to happen

Allied warplanes struck at Colonel Gaddafi’s Bab al-Azizaya compound in Tripoli overnight, according to NATO, ensuring that several fortified bunkers will not be breaching the Libyan no-fly zone in the foreseeable future.

“In strict compliance with the UN-authorised mandate of denying flight capabilities to the bad guys of the Libyan regime, good guys in mean helicopters continue to be actively engaged in an ongoing mission to direct Hellfire missiles into big concrete buildings,” affirmed NATO publicity robot General Cy Lon.

Explaining the very real threat to rebel forces posed by a fortified compound, he continued: “If you squint carefully at this grainy night-vision footage, you can clearly see parts of these buildings attempting vertical take-off right at the very moment of impact. Each and every one of these bunkers contains literally thousands of tons of concrete and steel. If just one of these massive constructions got airborne and dropped itself on the rebels in Misrata, yes sir, you’d undoubtedly be looking at an unacceptable casualty situation on the ground.”

“Be advised that NATO is not, repeat not, conducting a wide-ranging assassination exercise against Colonel Gaddafi,” he added. “We currently envision no scenarios in which the head of the Libyan armed forces might conceivably locate himself within a fortified command bunker, no sir. That is definitely not a part of our authorised mission objective, which remains purely to clear the Libyan skies of any immediate danger from airborne concrete structures.”