Britain’s Shouty, Aggressive Little Toerags Lacking In Self-Confidence, Opines OECD

Jeremy Kyle meets poor people with no self-confidence every day

The swaggering, arrogant morons who plague Britian’s inner-city estates fail academically because they lack self-confidence, according to the brilliant researchers of the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.

With the UK now trailing Tunisia and Mexico in social mobility, the OECD study claims that children from poor backgrounds have the odds stacked against any chance of using their brains to escape the poverty into which they are born, and found that they generally lack the self-confidence to stop shouting “CUNT” at random passers-by for a minute and think about answering a question about science instead.

“The fact that these deeply-misunderstood feral prodigies think they are better than you is a classic indicator of a deep-seated insecurity complex,” explained the OECD’s Dr Marvin Strangelove, as one of his research projects called him a wanker and demanded a pound so he could ring his mum for a lift home.

Dr Strangelove went on to say that what these potential geniuses lacked was some sort of “personal, internal drive”, before noticing that one of his pets had stolen his personal external drive from his laptop and was already halfway to Cash Converters with it.