Huhne’s Advice To Hard-Pressed Energy Customers: ‘Let Them Switch Cakes’

This is what you can look forward to this winter

As energy ransomer Scottish Power launched another shareholders’ jamboree in the energy sector, cynically hiking its eye-watering prices by up to 20%, energy secretary Chris Huhne took time out from helping the police with their enquiries to remind impoverished customers faced with unaffordable fuel costs that cakes are a cheap and plentiful source of energy.

“One Tesco Value sponge cake will keep a pensioner going for up to an hour a day,” gushed Mr Huhne. “What’s more, we tend to overlook the importance of ‘consumer power’. That’s completely free, you know, and you get it from walking to all the supermarkets for miles around in the middle of January, looking for the best cake deals. All that to-ing and fro-ing will warm you up a treat.”

“”And you get an energy bonus too,” he added brightly, “Because all that time you’re out and about hunting for cheap cakes, it doesn’t matter how cold your house is.”