Collectors Excited By New No-Fly Top Trumps Helicopters

Little boys are enthusiastically snapping up the latest long-awaited release in the popular No-Fly Top Trumps card game, eager to trump Libyan motorists’ knackered old bangers even harder with the British Army’s Apache attack helicopter and their French counterparts’ significantly cheaper SA342 Gazelle.

“OK, so the British-built Apache was only ordered years after the original version went into service with the US Army, and yes, it may have taken the army six years to make the radio work properly and stop bits falling off every time it fired a missile,” gushed keen little military hardware enthusiast Tommy Wilkins, 48, who pretends he is a national newspaper's resident expert on defence matters. “But its impressive £64m unit cost makes the bargain-basement Gazelle look really silly.”

You can almost feel their throbbing power

“Oh, poo,” he cried in disappointment, as he unwrapped his shiny new cards. “Cost isn’t on there.”