Government Unveils Silliest Excuses For Fraudulent Benefit Claims

This is what an unemployed looks like

The government today unveiled the flimsiest excuses used by devious claimants in their efforts to get their thieving hands on the taxes paid by decent, hard-working families who live in the sunny south east.

“I used to have a job, but my company let me go because nobody’s got any money to buy anything any more";

“I used to be self-employed, but my company folded because nobody’s got any money and the banks aren’t giving out loans any more”;

“There are no bloody jobs, because we don’t make anything any more”;

And, most pathetic of all: “I’m disabled.”

The government added that it has renamed tomorrow’s bank holiday National Laugh At The Jobless Day, although a jobless who obviously has plenty of time on his idle hands pointed out that this is hardly a special occasion.