Big-Hearted Iain Duncan Smith Leaps To Defence Of Territory

Work and pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith angrily defended his patch today, following the publication of a leaked letter from chancellor George Osborne which targets the sick and disabled for a £2.5bn cut.

This idle scrounger could easily tow a bus or something

In the letter, Mr Osborne tells his fellow Tory: “Given the pressure on overall public spending in the coming period, we – meaning I - will need to continue developing further options to reform the benefits as part of the spending review process in order to deliver further savings, greater simplicity and stronger work incentives. Reform to the employment support allowance is a particular priority and I am pleased to inform you that you, the prime minister and I have agreed to press ahead with reforms to the Employment Support Allowance as part of the spending review that will deliver net savings of at least £2.5bn by 2014-15."

A visibly seething Mr Duncan Smith immediately called a press conference, in which he whispered furiously that kicking people when they were down was his job and his alone.

"I am looking at a range of options for welfare reform,” he raged quietly, “And any decisions I make will be made in the context of my spending review. My reforms will ensure that the most vulnerable in our society are protected from the chancellor’s arbitrary cuts and subjected to mine instead, thank you very much."

As usual, a spokesman for the sick and the disabled was not available for comment, as the lazy bastards apparently can’t even be bothered to appoint a lobbying company to handle their PR, the amateurs.

However, the tabloid press promised faithfully that they would spare no effort to find plenty of typical bloody ESA fiddlers over the coming week.