The long arm of the Metropolitan Police descended swiftly on the terrorabbits as they arrived for their duty shifts at Veolia Cleaning Product Testing Services’ depot in London. They were held on suspicion of committing, preparing, instigating or reading something about acts of terrorism, and of being wilfully foreign in a public place.
Police magicians are also reported to be inspecting several empty hutches in north and east London, which they promise will soon be chock-full of incriminating evidence.
“I am aware that some cynical killjoys have criticised the £1m fee the police are charging for their role in the Pope’s magic circus,” said Commissioner Sir Kim Jong-Stephenson, whose previous spectacular stunts include piercing a Brazilian man with bullets in front of an amazed audience and putting him inside a box, lifting his gorgeous assistant Cressida out of the dock and turning a murder into a breach of health and safety regulations. “Well, I defy anybody to challenge this amazing stunt, which will surely generate a healthy income for us for the next few years.”
Meanwhile, the Pope, whose Party trick involves hiding a string of swastika-covered flags up his sleeve and making ten years of Nazi indoctrination magically disappear, hopes to amaze a specially-invited audience later on with a stunning array of implausible illusions - such as surprising even the most sceptical reporters by pulling fawning press coverage out of their open mouths, and of course his trademark trick of throwing a blanket over a filthy priest and making him appear spotless in another diocese many miles away.
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| This evil bastard was going to kill you |
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