RAF Toys In Safety Recall

The RAF was left screaming and shouting in a massive sulk today, after its Typhoon Jet toys were taken away for an urgent safety recall.

The 60 toy planes were recalled by manufacturers British Airfix after the realistic ejector seat accidentally sprang out and lodged itself up the left nostril of the Spanish boy down the road.

“The Typhoon Jet Plane is a quality toy, as befits its £69 million price tag,” said a British Airfix spokesman. “Unfortunately, it appears that stupid foreign children who don’t read the instructions can cause accidents, so we’re gluing the ejector seat in to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

The RAF, however, refuses to be consoled.

If we don't say hello to it, this will blow up the whole world and everything

“I buyed my Typhoon Jets out of my own pocket money, I did really,” shouted the spoilt child. “Actually I didn’t really. I screamed and screamed and screamed at mummy and daddy and then they buyed them for me. But the Russian boy in the next street has a really really REALLY big model plane that his granddad maked for him out of sticks and paper and stuff and things, and it really flies and it's got propellyers and everything, and it flies right over our back garden and I wanted a lot of Typhoon Jets so I could throw them all up in the air every time so they could say HELLO! to the great big airyplane every time it flied over. And there it goes now look and I haven’t got any Typhoon Jets or anything else except Prince Willy and his rubbish helicopter which I didn’t even want cos they’re USELESS but mummy said they looked nice in the shop and now I’m REALLY REALLY CROSS!”

“WAH,” it added.