Iraq Cities Celebrate US Withdrawal With Fireworks Displays

Barack Obama today thanked the Iraqi people for the somewhat over-enthusiastic fireworks put on in numerous Iraqi cities to express their gratitude for the peacekeeping work done over the years by withdrawing US forces.

“These spontaneous firework displays are a touching demonstration of the love and respect the ordinary people of Iraq feel for their departing American friends,” said the president, as news networks showed bright, colourful explosions taking place in Kut, Tikrit, Falluja, Basra, Mosul, Kirkuk, Ramadi and Karbala. “Our forces can leave with their heads held high, after successfully completing their mission of transforming Iraq from a nation living in fear to a bastion of freedom, peace and security.”

Thank you, America

Unlike traditional Western fireworks, in the Middle East they tend to be mounted inside cars or worn around the waist, and set off in crowded areas where the maximum number of people can share the experience,” he told American reporters. “Well, that’s their culture, and we celebrate it.”

At least 50 delighted Iraqis are thought to have enjoyed the displays so much that they came apart.

“This, too, is a cultural phenomenon common throughout the Middle East,” explained a sweating Mr Obama. “We show our appreciation by clapping - they show theirs by shedding limbs, heads and internal organs. It’s just a different way of doing things, which our soldiers have learned to recognise as just a regular everyday occurrence.”

“It’s just a shame those Iraqis can’t show their appreciation further by voting Democrat in our forthcoming mid-term elections,” he added.