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| Let's kill him, too |
“I couldn’t believe it when I saw that sick, twisted woman pick up a poor little cat by the scruff of its neck, calmly place it in her mouth, swallow and walk on as if nothing had happened,” said a horrified people-hating animal lover after the footage was aired on national television in lieu of news. “But worse was to follow. A few minutes later she brazenly scooped up a Labrador and, ignoring the tearful protests of its distraught owner, she proceeded to consume the poor yelping doggie, lead and all.”
The woman – who is thought to have previously consumed a fly, a spider and a bird before progressing to mammalian victims – was chased back to her home by irate animal lovers.
Horrified RSPCA inspectors arrived on the scene just in time to hear the desperate mooing of a cow emanating from inside the house, which was abruptly cut off by a loud belch. Protesters said they had previously heard a pitiful high-pitched bleating.
When the RSPCA team’s knocks on the door were answered, they were greeted by the stomach-churning sight of the back end of a horse sticking out from the woman’s horribly-distended mouth. Goaded beyond restraint, the crowd surged forward, seized the wicked old lady and strung her up from the nearest lamp post.
“Tragically, this is a story which is repeated almost daily somewhere in this country of supposed animal lovers,” said a spokesman for the RSPCA later.
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