Wednesday 25 August 2010

Wicked Animal Cruelty Woman Faces Vigilante Justice

Let's kill him, too
Baying crowds gathered today outside the home of an inexplicably cruel old lady who was captured on CCTV yesterday, wantonly swallowing fauna of increasing sizes.

“I couldn’t believe it when I saw that sick, twisted woman pick up a poor little cat by the scruff of its neck, calmly place it in her mouth, swallow and walk on as if nothing had happened,” said a horrified people-hating animal lover after the footage was aired on national television in lieu of news. “But worse was to follow. A few minutes later she brazenly scooped up a Labrador and, ignoring the tearful protests of its distraught owner, she proceeded to consume the poor yelping doggie, lead and all.”

The woman – who is thought to have previously consumed a fly, a spider and a bird before progressing to mammalian victims – was chased back to her home by irate animal lovers.

Horrified RSPCA inspectors arrived on the scene just in time to hear the desperate mooing of a cow emanating from inside the house, which was abruptly cut off by a loud belch. Protesters said they had previously heard a pitiful high-pitched bleating.

When the RSPCA team’s knocks on the door were answered, they were greeted by the stomach-churning sight of the back end of a horse sticking out from the woman’s horribly-distended mouth. Goaded beyond restraint, the crowd surged forward, seized the wicked old lady and strung her up from the nearest lamp post.

“Tragically, this is a story which is repeated almost daily somewhere in this country of supposed animal lovers,” said a spokesman for the RSPCA later.

No comments: