Britain And France May Share Bath

No comment so far from the Admiralty

Britain is seriously considering the once-unthinkable possibility of inviting France to join it in the bath, enabling the two most self-important nations in Europe to play with each other’s toy boats.

“I want some proper toy aircraft carriers - the ones I’ve got are only pretend ones ‘cos I just took the tops off some of my frigates,” said seven-year-old defence secretary Liam Fox, as he splashed around in his tub. “But daddy Dave and mummy Nick say they can’t afford to pay for two new aircraft carriers and hot water as well. So they said if I want to carry on playing I’ll have to share my boats with that Nicolas Sarkozy next door.”

“I don’t like him though, ‘cos he’s really stuck up and he smells,” added little Liam. “But I really, really, really want some aircraft carriers, or I won’t have a proper navy at all.”

Meanwhile, the little Sarkozy boy expressed doubts about sharing his proper aircraft carrier.

“I ‘ave not forgotten zat ze last time ze British asked if zey could share my toy boats, zey suddenly changed ze rules and broke zem,” he pointed out sulkily. “Besides, I ‘ave nevair, evair used my boats in ze bath. Zey are immaculate, and I put zem on ze mantelpiece to show zem off.”

“Besides, ‘ave you seen ze murky waters in ze British bath recently?” he continued. “I would probably come out smelling worse zan when I got in.”