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| St. Anthony celebrates the Shafting Of The 1 |
2. First of all, let me say that my decision to help you Americans to invade Iraq was a mistake.
3. But it was made in good faith; and that’s the important thing, isn’t it?
4. Do the families of the soldiers who died really suppose I don't care, don't feel, don't regret with every fibre of my being the loss of those who died?
5. To be indifferent to that would be inhuman, emotionally warped.
6. My rock, Cherie (bless her for doing the proof-reading!) has pointed out that neither of the above points actually commits me to saying I do care.
7. Make of that what you will.
8. Let’s move on to Gordon, shall we?
9. Was he a rabid, brooding megalomaniac with the empathic ability of a crab? Yes.
10. But let us not forget that he was also obstinate, ruthless and scheming.
11. And those were qualities for which I never lost respect, keeping as far away from him as possible at all times.
12. As this witty little dialogue illustrates:
13. FLUNKY: The chancellor is demanding to see you, Prime Minister.
14. ME: Yesh, he can be very demanding, can’t he? (slaps thigh) Hic.
15. FLUNKY: Very droll, Prime Minister. Now, Mr Brown wants to call you -
16. ME: I’d rather not hear what Mr Brown wantsh to call me, thank you Jon! (doubles up, thumps desktop) Now pour me another G&T, there’sh a good chap.
17. FLUNKY: You slay me, sir. Will you have Gordon’s?
18. ME: Might as well - the po-faced drip never touches the shtuff! (falls off chair, rolls on floor laughing) Go on, pour one for yourshelf, why doncha?
19. It’s the way I tell ‘em.
20. But let us not dwell on a cold, festering lunatic whom, with hindsight, a lesser man might have kept from single-handedly destroying the economy and the Labour Party’s chances of getting elected for a decade or more.
21. 1997, eh?
22. This was not a win.
23. It was a landslide.
24. Which is a win.
25. But I’m writing for effect.
26. Clever, eh?
27. Moving swiftly on, the death of Diana immediately struck me as an event which would determine the very future of Britain.
28. I was prime minister, you know.
29. I had to work out how it would work out.
30. Make of that what you will.
31. Finally, let me just say that when I was asked which of the political leaders I had met had the most integrity, I listed George W. Bush near the top.
32. After me, of course.
33. Some people thought I was joking.
34. I never joke.
35. See vv.13-19.
36. He was, in a bizarre sense, a true idealist.
37. Make of that what you will.
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