BMW Unveils Rolling iPod Dock

Spot the similarity

BMW has launched a big iPod dock with four wheels and a Mini badge on the boot, which will make your life complete.

“The four-door Mini Countryman looks like the smaller Mini in the same way that the small Mini looks like the old Mini,” confirmed an insufferable BMW creep. “Its subtle styling cues unmistakeably recall the classic design of the original, in precisely the same way that Yoko Ono reminds you of the Beatles.”

With such unforgettable Mini features as a stupidly-placed central speedometer, claustrophobia-inducing lack of interior space and pointless black lines linking the windscreen to the front wheel arch, the new car adds the all-important iPod dock, which is mounted unnecessarily on a sliding rail so it will disappear frustratingly in the direction of the back seats whenever you want to switch playlists. The range also features several 4WD models, although BMW pointed out that anyone tasteless enough to actually get mud on their Countryman will be swiftly rewarded by various bits of trim and exhaust system dropping off.

The all-powerful god of motorists, Jeremy Clarkson, has lambasted the new car, however.

“So… it’s designed by BMW, made by BMW and sold by BMW, but it’s not a BMW,” yowled the almighty. “What on earth is the point of that?”