Radio Station Nobody Listens To Will Continue Broadcasting To Thin Air

Millions of people who never listen to the radio but, if they did, might very well tune into Radio 6 Music out of mild curiosity, cheered this morning as the BBC Trust announced that the digital station would not now be facing the axe after all.

“We appreciate that, in this playlist-dominated age, nobody in control of their own bowels actually listens to a radio any more,” said BBC boss Mark Thompson. “Nevertheless, we also recognise that an awful lot of people who don’t even own a digital radio get very vexed at the thought of closing down a radio station that actually plays the sort of wilfully-obscure twaddle they like to tell people they’re really into, when in fact they just listen obsessively to their maudlin old Levellers CDs on repeat play morning, noon and night.”

“Fortunately, all those people who like to think of themselves as right-on didn’t bother to join a Save Asian Network group on Facebook,” he added, “So it’s still ‘goodbye and stick that sitar up your arse on the way out’ to all that jangly-waily crap.”

DJ Lauren Laverne, who presents a show on 6 Music, immediately Twatted her delight at continuing to be paid for playing any old shit.

Shortly afterwards, a new Facebook group of horrified Save Radio 6 Music members called for the immediate closure of Radio 6 Music, reaching 100,000 members within an hour of its formation.

“I didn’t realise that godawful Geordie bum-trumpet was on it,” said one typical commenter. “This changes everything.”