Lib Dems Running About Starkers

Police were combing Britain today for streakers, after prime minister David Cameron whipped away the Lib Dems’ remaining fig leaf by announcing that he – and therefore all the other Tory MPs - would be voting against democratic reforms when the bill came up in the House of Commons.

Shortly after the announcement, a bollock-naked Deputy PM Nick Clegg was booted out of 10 Downing Street, clutching his goolies as he shuffled away.

Police switchboards in Lib Dem constituencies swiftly became jammed, as outraged members of the public phoned in sightings of their MPs disporting themselves in the altogether, without a stitch of credibility.

“These Lib Dem flashers cavorted brazenly as their policies were whipped off, one by one, by the leering Conservatives,” said a shocked onlooker. “And Vince Cable in the buff is not a sight for the faint-hearted, I can tell you.”

“Although we were a bit bashful at first, after one or two of our policies were removed we soon took to it, because the feeling of power was quite sexy,” admitted one Lib Dem nudist, under cover of anonymity (except to anyone who might recognise the mole on his scrotum). “And after a while we got quite accustomed to the liberating feeling of fresh air blowing through the empty covers of our manifesto. But we caught a bit of a chill in our privates when Mr Cameron asked every department to outline 40% cuts – and now that he’s ensured that our dreams of proportional representation will come to nothing, we’re left standing here with our limp dicks on display for all to see. It’s embarrassing, frankly, and I feel dirty and used.”

Mr Cameron was unrepentant, however, telling reporters that the Lib Dems would come crawling back for one public shafting after another “because they love it really.”