Exasperated White House aides have reiterated the message that President Obama is indeed a citizen of the United States by birth, in the face of persistent conspiracy theories claiming that he was in fact not born in Hawaii at all, but assembled in some factory in the Far East, or possibly space.
The so-called 'birthers' have not been dissuaded by the posting online of Mr Obama's birth certificate, nor by assurances from the non-partisan Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania that the original certificate is genuine, with right-wing talk-show hosts claiming that, as a machine politician assembled in a factory by other machines, the President in ineligible to hold the highest office in the land.
"The fact that he's an uppity nigger-boy with ideas above his station has nothing to do with it," screamed shock-jock Cletus Himmler, a senior crypto-rantist at popular extremist propaganda station K-NAZ. "Some of my best friends are black. Not on the surface, admittedly - but deep in their hearts, where it counts."
The president himself has so far declined to enter the debate, as he is currently being retrofitted with a hardware update which will enable him to stun opponents up to two miles away with a subsonic audio-pulse.
"Is there anything you can say which will make the birthers go away?" mused White House spokesman Robert Gibbs. "Probably not, as it seems there are now more hysterical Nazis in the United States today than in the whole of Greater Germany in 1939."
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