Conservative leader David Cameron has apologised profusely, after turning the air blue in a live interview on Absolute Radio this morning.
"When I said 'twat' and 'pissed off' on daytime radio, I was mistakenly trying to connect with millions of chav voters on a level they could understand," explained a red-faced Mr Cameron said later in a live interview on the BBC lunchtime news. "It has since been explained to me by my advisors that chavs don't vote - or, for that matter, listen to Absolute Radio with its challenging mix of cutting-edge and retro alt-rock that isn't in this week's top five."
"I feel a bit of a dick, actually," admitted the prospective future prime minister, adding: "Shit, shit, shit."
However, he went on to say that he was "fucking well up for it" regarding Lord Mandelson's suggestion of a live pre-election TV debate between Gordon Brown and himself.
"Put me in a studio with that fuck-faced shithead and I'll piss all over him," enthused the Leader of Her Majesty's Bastard Opposition. "I can rip that cock-sucking Jock wanker's bollocks clean off in a debate and feed them to his bitch Mandelson, any fucking day. Innit."
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