Millions Facing Misery Of Paying For Other People’s Hard Work

Brave dissidents from the repressive dictatorship of Britain are desperately trying to raise global awareness of their terrible suffering today, after a Nazi in a wig ordered cowering internet service providers to deny them the fundamental human right to steal all the music they want.

“Britain’s brutal declaration of war on the innocent plunderers of Pirate Bay is exactly how Hitler kicked off,” tweeted heroic activists, many of whom have vowed to die fighting if they are cruelly forced to exchange money for songs they like. “How can struggling young artists ever receive the rewards and recognition their talents deserve, if I am forced to part with a small amount of cash? This is nothing less than out-and-out fascism. And communism, too.”

The grim reality of Britain today

Music liberators lay the blame for the unjust decision squarely at the feet of bloated, evil record company bosses, whose naked lust for a return on their investments stands in stark contrast to the open-handed philanthropism of organisations like Facebook, Google and every other business in the entire world.

“Why can’t the music industry adopt an up-to-date business plan based on giving everything away for nothing?” commented a tragic thief on Facebook. “I bought a t-shirt last year. There’s enough profit in that to buy a drummer two pairs of hardly-used sticks on eBay. What more do these parasites want from me?”

Salvation is at hand for the persecuted MP3 hoarders, however, as Avaaz.com fearlessly risked punitive reprisals by starting an online petition which is certain to bring down the hated British regime by teatime on Wednesday.