Just as education secretary Michael Gove orders an investigation into whether Catholic schools acted illegally in urging pupils to sign a petition against gay marriage, Cardinal Keith O’Brien - the head of the Catholic church in Scotland - has suddenly found that he is vitally concerned with the welfare of the poor.
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| How is it fair that some people live like me? demands the Cardinal |
“Imagine my surprise when I heard that, in the rare moments when Jesus wasn’t ranting about the evils of bum sex, our Lord and Saviour expressed a passing interest in the less well off,” said the Cardinal. “’My word,’ I thought to myself, ‘That seemed to go down rather well with people. Perhaps I should try going down with people myself.’"
Cardinal O’Brien admitted that, engrossed as he was in saving the world from the awful plight of gay weddings, he had somehow failed to notice that the rich get richer and the poor get - children, and that this had apparently been considered “fun” for quite some time.
“This is, of course, entirely the fault of governments,” he maintained, speaking from his lavish mansion in Edinburgh’s Morningside district. “As a leader of the Catholic church, I positively welcome any measures which encourage people not to breed.”
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