Wednesday 2 May 2012

Traditional Chinese Medicine Helps Blind Man To Be Seen

Leading US spin doctors are today marvelling at the mysterious workings of traditional Chinese medicine, which has miraculously helped them to see a blind man sheltering in their embassy in Beijing.

A few pricks, and the pain has vanished
“There’s no rational explanation for it but hell, it works,” admitted an apologetic Dr Marilyn Strangelove, washing her hands after a complicated operation to save Hillary Clinton’s face tragically failed. “The Chinese swiftly applied a threat to the blind man’s family and suddenly, for the first time, we could see him quite clearly. And we didn’t feel a bit of pain during the extraction. We sure could learn a trick or two from these guys.”

Sceptics remain unconvinced, however, about the ethics of dishing out Chinese medicine, claiming that its unabashed practitioners cynically exploit the desire of the credulous to believe that the problem has magically gone away whilst beautiful, endangered creatures like the Lesser Spotted Human Rights Activist are cruelly ground into paste.

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