Saturday, 22 October 2011

We Are The Only News, Insist Cathedral Campers

Anti-capitalism protesters camping outside St Paul’s Cathedral today pointed to blatant coverage of other events as incontrovertible evidence of an establishment cover-up at the highest levels of the corrupt BBC.
Surely the forces of reaction can't take much more of this
“We are single-handedly saving the fucking planet here, and all the Bilderberg lackeys of the BBC are telling the sheeple is that we got in the way of some toffs’ wedding,” wailed one angry soap dodger in a 'V' mask. “Meanwhile, they’re slavishly serving the secret agenda by pumping out non-stop neocon lies about the Great Libyan Oil Theft, Hitler’s Zionist-backed European Union and the demise of the evil Edmundo Ros, who viciously distracted millions of brainwashed your nan and grandad from the vital task of overthrowing the capitalist nightmare with his evil cha-cha arrangements.”

“So everybody shut the fuck up and pay attention to us,” he added. “It’s you we’re doing this for, you ignorant bastards, because we are the only people in Fascist Britain who give a shit about you. Now get up off your fat fucking arses and smash the system. Oi, vicar! Make yourself useful - pop over to Starbucks and get us a skinny macchiato, you middle-class God-bothering creep.”

When asked in what way the public could best smash the system, and what it should be replaced with, he pointed out that I am a smug capitalist bastard and asked how much MI5 are paying me.

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