Tech Manufacturers Braced For Unimaginable Suffering

A disaster of unimaginable proportions is engulfing many of the world’s leading technology brands, as Thailand inexorably disappears under raging floodwaters.

Oh, the humanity

A distraught Sony is already weeping inconsolably over the tragic loss of its baby NEX-7 and Reflex Alpha 65 cameras, while Western Digital, Toshiba and Seagate watched helplessly as this year’s desperately-needed crop of hard drives was washed away by the raging torrents.

“Whenever natural disasters strike in South East Asia, it’s always the poor businessman who bears the brunt of the human cost,” said a spokesman for the Disasters Emergency Committee, which is launching a major fundraising appeal. “Millions of suffering salarymen’s miserable lives have already been blighted by the Japanese earthquake earlier this year - and now this devastating flood threatens to wipe out their meagre Q3 profits as well.”

“A £2 donation will buy a snorkel tube and facemask - each one enabling a brown worker in Thailand to go back to work, albeit with deductions for leaving the production line to come up for air every three minutes,” he explained, “While every £200 we raise will provide him with a desperately-needed aqualung, enabling him to stay down in the factory almost without interruption.”

“Please, please, make a difference,” he implored. “With your generous help, poor Sony could return to profit one day.”