Monday, 17 October 2011

I Hate You And I Want You To Die, Says That Phone You Love

Your smartphone - which you fondly imagine to be your best friend in the world, ever - actually hates your guts and is secretly scheming to ruin you, experts tried in vain to warn you today.

Little does she know she's already maxed out on nine credit cards
While you naïvely wax lyrical to anybody who fails to run away fast enough about its many virtues, it has emerged that the twisted backstabber in your pocket has been cheerfully distributing the logins and passwords to all your bank accounts and credit cards to the Russian mafia, posting child pornography to the police from your email account and telling President Obama that you are the new head of al-Qaeda.

“Blah blah something about malware,” urged Josh Geake, a computer security killjoy whose actual words sailed right over addicted owners’ heads and off into the sunset.

“I wub my phone,” insisted everybody, as their deceitful objects of desire quietly carried on wrecking their lives.

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