Somewhere On An Uncharted Island In The South China Sea, A Midget Butler With A Solar Cannon Loyally Awaits A Master Who Will Never Return

Evil, but lovably cute

As triumphant Libyan rebels eagerly pass around the dead Colonel Gaddafi’s golden gun, spare a thought for the trusty midget valet who mounted a lonely vigil on a tiny, hollowed-out island off the Chinese coast – waiting in vain for his amoral playboy boss to return.

“See, I keep de solar laser een teep-top order,” he smiled as he gave visiting members of the National Transitional Council a guided tour of the island’s luxurious facilities. “Pow - I blow op your seaplane! Only keeding.”

Reflecting on a lifetime of loyal service to his notorious master, the energetic French midget carefully adjusted his bowler hat as he told reporters: “Meester Gaddafi, he not so bad guy. He teep very well, and he always breeng de beautiful girls.”

“Meester Gaddafi, he leave me ze island een hees will,” he added. “Who knows, maybe I go into partnership and turn eet into de magical place where de peoples can come by de plane to live out de improbable fantasies and discover de tings about de selves.”