Dale Farm A Peaceful Grassroots Protest Against City Greed, Claim Punchy Residents

Gypsies at Dale Farm told eager TV crews that their campsite is in fact a spontaneous anti-capitalist protest against corporate fat cats, as they enthusiastically swung scaffolding pipes at riot police who were trying to gain entry to the site.

Peaceful campers sharing the love

“We have a legitimate grievance against greedy bankers,” insisted a demonstrator, as he stamped peacefully on a policeman’s head. “See that? Police brutality.”

Away from the pitched battles, which are being transmitted live on TV and in betting shops, other Dale Farm demonstrators are hastily drawing up an alternative manifesto in which they claim that the global economic crisis was caused by Basildon Council’s planning department.

"We're here because we want an equal distribution of wealth, we want minorities - i.e. us - to have a voice, we want the corrupt planning system to be changed," explained a pikey with a brick. “We’re not moving until the entire capitalist planning system comes tumbling down, to be replaced by a fairer distribution of the world’s wealth, resources and land, mainly in our direction.”

“And if it ever happens,” he added, generously redistributing his brick into the police line, “We still ain’t moving.”