In a folded joint statement in which every third word was written by LibDem energy secretary Chris Huhne without knowing what Mr Cameron had just written, he assured the hard-hit public: "These price /Jesus /rises couldn't /Christ /come at /what /a worse /are /time for /we /consumers who /going /are already /to /feeling the /do /pinch from /about /rising petrol /these /prices and /thieving /the cost /corporate /of the /bastards? /weekly shop."
|Thanks, Mr Huhne - we'd never have spotted the difference|
As the prime minister examined his fingernails and admired his own reflection in the immaculately-polished table, ecstatic bosses from the ‘big six’ passed a pleasant half hour helping themselves to the drinks cabinet and comparing photographs of their luxury cabin cruisers and corporate hospitality suites before telling their groaning customers the usual twaddle about switching from one greedy, overcharging supplier to another and insulating their already-insulated homes.
"The companies are not the Salvation Army,” explained Mr Huhne helpfully, once he had managed to prise his burning lips apart.