Defence Secretary Farce To Transfer To West End

The farcical embarrassment of defence secretary Dr Liam Rix is set for a long run on the West End stage as soon as its Westminster run comes to an end, according to Conservative Party promoters.

The defence secretary hails a taxi

“Every time Liam tries to protest his innocence, his trousers fall down!” guffawed fan David Cameron, with tears in his eyes. “The scene where the chief of staff - Sir Jock Strap, ho ho - catches him on his knees, trousers at half mast, desperately trying to push a sheepdog into an MoD stationery cupboard brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.”

“How I chuckled at Liam’s reddening cheeks, as he struggled to give a straight-laced hotel manager in Dubai a perfectly innocent explanation of why his ‘best man’ was fumbling around in his government-issue y-fronts with a rubber truncheon!” giggled the prime minister at the tribulations of his hapless neo-conservative defence secretary. “And when the police came round to investigate a burglary at his flat, while his long-suffering wife was away, only to discover a naked bloke hiding in a wardrobe - well, I nearly fell out of my chair!”

Ribald critics, however, are suggesting that the farce’s popular run in the papers will undoubtedly end very soon - possibly before the end of the week – to make room for more traditional bedroom hilarity from the acknowledged master of the genre, Boris Johnson.