Loyal Fans Vow To Ruin Jackson Children’s Lives With Adulation

Dance! Sing! My pretties

Fans of kiddy-bedding plastic corpse Wackson Jackson vowed yesterday to ruin the lives of his children with the same sort of uncritical, psychologically-damaging adulation they showered upon their deeply flawed hero when he was young and impressionable.

50,000 Jackson addicts cheered wildly as poor King Wacko (14), Plaster (11) and Pillow a/k/a King Wacko Mk.II (9) were pushed onstage at the Cardiff tribute performance, creepily dressed in the stage clothes their late father was made to wear whilst being ruthlessly exploited.

“I am utterly impervious to any criticism of the great Wackson Jackson, and if he were to rise from the dead to invite my grandchildren into his bed I’d instruct them not to come back without his autograph - ow!” enthused outwardly-sensible fan Mark Peters, 49, pathetically clutching his shrunken testicles in some kind of tribute.

His wife Shelley agreed vigorously: “Wackson was just a tragic, innocent victim of cynical child exploitation by his own family. And I’d like to thank his family for sharing his children with us.”